Shelley Moore Capito, can you resurrect dead elephants?

Dear Rep. Shelley Moore Capito (the greatest Republican Congresswoman ever from West Virginia!!),

Once again, we turn to you for help. I found that really un-civil image with the bible verse and dead elephant on the web today.

The Sisters of Shelley are worried. They think being a Republican ain't that popular anymore. We've never been all that fond of minorities--we'd hate to become one.

Just like you, that darling Monica Goodling obviously loves America's Top Lawyer, the good A.G. A.G. (AG AG, cute, huh, ?).

The good-est godliest Goodling told AG AG himself: "May God bless you richly as you continue your service to America." We couldn't have said it better ourselves! Ms. Goodling must have quit on Good Friday so she can devote all of her energies to defending him.

Please tell us you've got a magic formula to keep the elephant alive. We're not going to become a minority are we? The right will be all right, right? Right?

With deep affection (but not in a Ms. Cheney-sort of way) we are your slightly concerned and ever blessing,

Sisters of Shelley
Sigma Mu Capito

Shelley Moore Capito Loves America's Top Lawyer

Hi there, Tiffany here! Does GWB look so handsome in blue or what? He's got good taste in his company, too. That's a picture of our beloved Shelley Moore Capito in one of the finest days ever in West Virginia.

There's also a picture of the guy who once was Bush's personal White House lawyer. President George W. Bush is so generous, he gave Gonazles to all of us. Attorney General Gonazles is now the most important lawyer in the world. He represent everybody in the United States.

You know, I feel really sorry for the poor people with Representatives worse than Shelley Moore Capito. [Not the poor people too lazy to work, the unfortunate citizens with bad Reps! ;D]

There's some really pitiful folks in Ohio, NC and Alabama right now:

But two more congressional Republicans urged Bush to dismiss Gonzales, and other Bush loyalists cooled their support for him.

Rep. Paul Gillmor, R-Ohio, said Gonzales "has become a lightning rod and has distracted from the mission of the Department of Justice. Given the totality of the circumstances, I think it would be better for the president and the department if the attorney general were to step down."

Rep. Walter Jones, R-N.C., wrote to Bush warning that if Gonzales allowed politicization of the Justice Department, "then our nation's law enforcement officers will lose the trust of the American people."

Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., a former U.S. attorney and attorney general of his home state, told National Public Radio that while he always considered Gonzales a straight-shooter, if it turned out that he'd deliberately misled Congress, "I think he will be out of there."

The Sisters of Shelley are really concerned. We may make a road trip to console the brothers of Phi Gamma Gillmor.

There must be a good reason for anything Gonzales did. After all, President Bush named Gonzales Attorney General because he is a fine, upstanding, honest, brilliant lawyer capable of defending freedom, justice and liberty for the Sigma Mu Shelley (and the rest of US).

Thank God, West Virginia has Shelley Moore Capito. Even if she did think deceiving Congress was a bad idea, she's loyal enough to the President she woudn't complain about it.