Saturday, March 31, 2007

Jesus General, we're all Christian here, don't get any ideas

Dearest Jesus General,

The Sisterhood of Shelley is truly honored and flattered by your expression of affection. As a leader of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution you are a Great American. So, we really hate to get all prickly about this...

Our mother's raised us as good Christian girls. Thanks to our brother's and father's we know how to be good Christian woman, too. What exactly did you mean "it's a good thing you're a Mormon"?

I heard Karl Rove is one, just like that handsome Mitt Romney fellow, so being Mormon must be okay and all. Still, we heard something about sister wives. Just to set the record straight, we are all mostly spoken for. [Phew, that was awkward.]

With greatest affection in a most Christian sisterly kind of way,

The Sisterhood of Shelley
Sigma Mu Capito

p.s. Do you have a daughter? How about a niece? We'd love for her to rush SMC!! Maybe a son? The Spring formal is coming up... hint, hint. :D

p.p.s. We just learned those horrible meanie liberocrats at West Virginia Blue are already trying to raise money against Shelley Moore Capito. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. They don't even have a candidate and they think they can still get people to contribute.


Muffy Diverta said...

You are SO lucky to have Shelley in your state. I'm in Charm City and have been looking for a role model. You would think we would have some great ones here but we have Babs Mikulski, who grew up in a bakery for Gods sake (oops sorry!)- and she wears sensible shoes and is kind of frumpy. Even worse, while she is a Baltimoron, she is clearly a San Francisco Democrat so not so true to her school and hometown.
No interesting House members so I'm looking to the city council or state legislature for inspiration.
I SO wish you could share your Sheley!

Anonymous said...

Funny blog - keep up the good work.

But please... correct the misuse of apostrophes. It drives me crazy when otherwise intelligent people write "father's" when they mean "fathers." Just makes 'em look dumb.


markg8 said...

Well at least they're consistent with the apostrophes. Consistent but wrong.

Anonymous said...

It's too bad your mothers, brothers, fathers, and you don't know the difference between a possessive and a plural.

Rob said...

Did you know that Shelley Moore Capito was on the House Page Board? And a "veteran member" at that?

TIME magazine story

"It seems like an ironic twist of events, yet those close to the program say the increased interest has everything to do with the Foley scandal. "People hadn't heard about the program before last fall," says Rep. Shelley Moore Capito, a West Virginia Republican and veteran member of the House Page Board, the bipartisan committee that oversees the program."