Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Lots of people really, really love Rep. Shelley Moore Capito

Our wonderful Republican Representative Shelley Moore Capito is way too modest. A lot of people really love her. I mean, really, really love her. Three people at least!

You can tell they love her. She got contributions from them in January, February and March this year.

Sure, she got a bunch of gifts from PACs, whatever those are... but three gifts were from three good friends who reached out to help make sure West Virginia has the very bestest Republican Representative 4ever!

Strangely, only one of them is from West Virginia, but, never mind that, they all deserve special recognition.

First all there, there is a Mr. Doyle Bartlett in Alexandria, Virginia. This Analyst at the Smith-Free Group gave $490 to Shelley. You go, boy!! One little question, if I may Mr. Bartlett... are you no longer a lobbyist or do you just prefer the title analyst? You should be proud of the great work you do on behalf of clients like these. You make America safe for business.

Tell me, Mr. Doyle, where can I get a cool job like yours?? During the day you direct money to politicians. When you get home, you're paid so well you can direct even more money to the bestest Republican Shelley!!! I want that job!

Next up, someone else who just can't leave their work at home. We are so lucky in West Virginia to have such good out-of-state friends. Mr. Peter Knight is the Director, Government Relations, for the Federal Home Loan Bank of Pittsburgh. He lives in Washington, DC and gave our bestest Republican Representative $250 for doing such a great job. He knows a good Republican Rep. when he sees one!

Finally, Mrs. Connie Payne, a self-described housewife in Charleston, W.Va. contributed $1000 to Capito. Now don't tell anyone, but secretly I'm working on my M.R.S. here at college. I don't want a job like Mr. Bartlett or Mr. Doyle where I take my work home... I'd rather be like Mrs. Payne and just work at home! Of course, I'd have to marry the right guy so I could afford $1000 to donate to Mrs. Capito, too... we all have to do our part to keep the bestest Republican Rep. in office 4ever!

Thank you Mr. Doyle Bartlett of Alexandria Virginia. Good luck with that "analyst" ;-) job. Thank you Mr. Peter Knight. I hope you related with all the governments you need to. Thank you very much Mrs. Connie Payne. May all your days of housewiving be joyous.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Presidential Politics: Shelley, do we support Rudy Giuliani?

First off. Thanks for asking. Yes, exams were tough. Graduation was sooooo exciting, but sad... seeing some Sisters of Shelley leave the comforts of Sigma Mu Capito.

Beach week was a major blast!!! OMG, I met these two guys there who took me to a place I had never---oh, wait, I promised this was a family kind of blog. Anyway, like, I was like so worn out I needed a couple of weeks of rest. Now I'm back online again.

Here at Sigma Mu Capito we're really confused. Shelley Moore Capito hasn't let us know yet who's going to be the next President. We don't know which Republican candidate to go out and support.

Just like us, Shelley is pro-choice. We hear that Rudy Giuliani is pro-choice. I don't care if he's got one of those hard-to-spell names, he's a rich white dude. Maybe he's the one we're going to support?

You can see he's also a big fan of our very bestest President George Bush and the next bestest Vice President Dick Cheney, bless their souls.

Rudy Guiliani has some other things in common with Shelley and us, too. Like, I hear he looks good in a dress.

Please, Shelley, let us know... is Rudy Giuliani our choice for President in 2008?